I didn't see Brad this week. He hasn't been himself. He's going through his own crap and well it's difficult for me when he gets like that. He's just kind of sad and stuck inside himself. So I opted to make an excuse and stay away and I can't promise that this week will be any different but we will see. Tonight I will see Ean and Ean will need to take care of all my needs this week....well most of my needs anyway.
I dreamt last night that Brad and I lived together and we were adding a girl to our relationship. Yea like a girlfriend for us. This is something that has long turned me on but I don't think I'd ever really want to do it. I love thinking about such things though. The jealousy can make it feel that much more exciting. Difficult to explain but at least in fantasy its very hot. It's not about me having sex with the girl. It's about watching him have sex with her that gets me excited. At least in fantasy. In the real world I can't get past my jealous and possessive feelings to accept that idea no matter how hot it makes me. Sexuality is a funny thing. Don't you think?
